Chapter 1: Understanding the Term "Alcoholic"

People often tell me that I’m an alcoholic, suggesting I shouldn't feel ashamed since this issue runs in my family. They say I’ve inherited this condition through my bloodline.

> According to some, I am unwell, which explains why I struggle to maintain control when I drink, often ending up consuming far more than I intended.

They label it a disease, but I don’t resonate with that idea. I don’t experience myself as sick or diseased, and the term "alcoholic" has never felt right to me. Despite having stopped drinking 11 months ago to save my life, I refuse to identify with that label.

Even though I’ve had trouble managing my alcohol intake from my very first sip of vodka at 15, I don’t consider myself an alcoholic. Dining out, when wine was served, I would spend the evening trying to monitor how much I drank compared to others, convincing myself to slow down and appear like a responsible adult. This self-control worked only about 20% of the time, and I often celebrated my limited success by stopping at a bar on my way home.

I don’t see myself as an alcoholic, even when I recognize the struggle some of my relatives faced with alcohol. I have empathy for those who identify as alcoholics, yet I quit drinking for my own well-being. To me, the term "alcoholic" doesn’t provide the clarity or liberation it promises; rather, it feels like a label that binds me to a predetermined narrative.

Many have insisted that accepting this label is crucial for my recovery, suggesting that resistance hinders my progress. However, to me, this label feels restrictive—a barrier that prevents me from confronting the deeper issues within myself. It creates noise, obscuring my true identity beyond the confines of a label or illness.

This term feels like a barrier I cannot cross to uncover the underlying reasons for my drinking. As I spend more time with my thoughts, I realize my struggles are not complex or mysterious. They stem from a myriad of emotions I couldn’t manage or acknowledge, leading me to believe that drinking was a temporary escape.

Did my grandfather experience something similar?

I’ve grappled with sensitivity, sorrow, and an aching heart, feelings I have long tried to suppress. In times of loneliness, I turned to the bottle for relief, and it provided a fleeting solution.

The label of "alcoholic" feels like a crutch, hindering me from exploring my individuality and my needs. While some may see my experiences as fitting under the umbrella of alcoholism, I prefer to take a more nuanced approach to my health and well-being.

My goal is not to rush through my healing process. I appreciate the winding paths and scenic routes that may take longer but offer profound insights and hidden treasures along the way.

The first video, "Alcohol units & limits | Alcohol Awareness | iHASCO," provides valuable insights into understanding alcohol consumption and its limits. It emphasizes awareness and moderation, crucial for personal health.

Section 1.1: The Impact of Labels

The impact of labels such as "alcoholic" can be profound, often shaping how individuals view themselves and their journeys. It’s important to explore the roots of these labels and understand their implications.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Journey of Self-Discovery

Chapter 2: Finding My Path to Healing

The second video, "New data suggests how many alcoholic drinks per week are safe," delves into research regarding safe drinking limits, encouraging viewers to consider their relationship with alcohol responsibly.