Section 1.1: Understanding My Motivation

Eight years ago, I struggled to understand how to engage with exercise in a healthy manner. What had once been a tool for self-punishment—used to burn calories and alter my body shape—needed a significant transformation. Over the past nine years, I have diligently worked to reshape my relationship with movement, focusing on cultivating joy and confidence instead of punishment. The cornerstone of this change was redefining my intentions behind exercising.

My journey through recovery from an eating disorder and exercise addiction has equipped me as a licensed therapist, allowing me to help others navigate similar struggles. Throughout my healing process, I became acutely aware of the harmful societal messages surrounding exercise. Daily, I encountered pressures to lose weight, tone up, and improve performance—from social media to casual conversations with strangers. These messages not only pressured me to conform to an unrealistic body image but also failed to address the underlying “why” of my exercise routine, reinforcing the idea that movement was solely a means to achieve a smaller physique.

Reflecting on my motivations revealed that if I didn’t take the time to understand why I exercised, I would miss the chance to create a meaningful connection with movement. I realized I could shift my focus from altering my body to honoring its ability to move. For too long, my “why” revolved around physical appearance, which led me to become enslaved to my gym routine. Recognizing this, I sought to learn about various forms of movement and their benefits, aiming to cultivate a healthier association with exercise.

Subsection 1.1.1: Embracing New Forms of Movement

During my time in the treatment program, I was introduced to the idea that movement could be pleasurable and had benefits beyond weight loss or muscle toning. I learned that engaging in physical activity could elevate my mood, boost energy, and alleviate insomnia. I began to see movement as a joyful choice that encompassed a variety of activities, from leisurely walks to adventurous outings like swimming, dancing, or even going to a batting cage.

This newfound understanding inspired me to explore what truly brought me joy. I broke free from the confines of calorie counting and intense gym sessions, reimagining exercise as a dynamic aspect of my life that could enhance my daily experiences. I began to set intentions for movement that prioritized enjoyment, mood enhancement, and self-confidence over mere physical changes.

Section 1.2: Rediscovering Adventure

Throughout my recovery, I unearthed a passion for adventure that had long been overshadowed by my previous addictions. I became a certified scuba diver, traversing the ocean's depths. I summited some of the tallest peaks globally, went canyoneering in stunning slot canyons, and embraced thrilling activities like white-water rafting and zip-lining. By redefining my intentions surrounding exercise, I granted myself permission to engage in joyful activities, resulting in a treasure trove of unforgettable memories from my global adventures.