Building Our Commitment

In my work with individuals recovering from eating disorders, I stress the necessity of having a compelling reason for recovery. I refer to these motivations as our "recovery dock."

Initially, those who come to see me often feel lost, metaphorically treading water in a vast ocean of struggle without a clear path forward.

Staying afloat is not sustainable; fatigue sets in, leading to feelings of defeat, fear, and exhaustion. We desperately need a safe haven—a dock to rest upon.

This dock is constructed from the reasons that underscore the importance of making a change. For someone on the road to recovery, these reasons might include preserving relationships, enhancing physical health, achieving life goals, finding happiness, or attaining inner peace. Similarly, individuals seeking change in various aspects of life often cite comparable motivations.

Once we can pinpoint these reasons for change, we can begin to construct the first planks of our dock. The nails that hold these planks together symbolize the potential losses we face if we fail to secure our commitment. Recognizing these losses can serve as a powerful motivator, driving us to cement our commitment.

Once we clarify our reasons for change and acknowledge what we stand to lose, the dock solidifies into a tangible reminder of our commitment—if we remain mindful and attentive to it.

Section 1.1: Taking the Leap

The next crucial step in recovery or personal development is stepping onto the dock. This transition is often the most challenging for many. As humans, we are instinctively resistant to change and tend to cling to the familiar—even if it means remaining adrift in uncertainty.

Getting onto the dock may feel daunting and uncomfortable after being immersed in the water for so long. You might still sense the waves beneath you, and the urge to retreat to the familiarity of the ocean can be strong. After all, walking on solid ground is a stark contrast to treading water.

However, the motivations for your dock are embedded in its structure. The nails symbolize the understanding of what you might lose if you do not remain anchored to your commitment. It is crucial to consciously acknowledge and reflect on the reasons that keep you grounded. These motivations are the glue that keeps you from slipping back into the water.

Returning to Commitment When Motivation Falters

“Motivation is unreliable; it’s your commitment that truly counts.”

A client recently shared this insight with me, and it has resonated deeply with me. Just as motivation fluctuates, it is not a dependable emotion.

One moment we feel inspired, and the next, that spark can vanish. While motivation may help us initially step onto our constructed dock, its absence can tempt us to retreat back to the ocean.

Relying solely on motivation can lead to self-sabotage. We need something more substantial to keep us anchored on solid ground, guiding us toward our goals. That something is our commitment.

Our commitment stems from our reasons for change. It resides in our capacity to stay connected to those motivations, even when our desire for change wanes. Our commitment thrives on mindfulness, awareness, and clear intentions for personal growth. It is, quite literally, our dock.

Do You Want to Change Something in Your Life?

Consider this exercise:

1. Sit down with a pen and paper.
2. Outline what you wish to change.
3. Dedicate a few minutes to note at least five reasons motivating your desire for change.
4. Reflect on what you might lose if you choose not to change.

Once you have completed this, place the paper in a visible location—your bathroom mirror, bedroom wall, front door, or car dashboard—anywhere you'll see it regularly.

This will serve as a constant reminder of your motivations, which are essential for facilitating change.

Remember, motivation may fade, but it is your commitment that truly matters.