Understanding Life's Facade

As I approach my 50th birthday, I find myself reflecting on the wisdom gained over the decades. The experiences I've had have shaped who I am today, and I truly appreciate the lessons learned along the way. If others embraced these six insights, they might avoid the challenges I faced.

1. Life is Not Always as It Appears

During my time in Nepal, I shared a home with an American friend. Our bond grew swiftly as we supported each other through various ups and downs. However, when she departed, I felt a profound sense of loss. This feeling intensified when she rarely reached out, leading me to assume she no longer valued our friendship.

After I confronted her through a text, she eventually revealed that her father had tragically passed away in an accident. I was overwhelmed with guilt for my reaction. This taught me that life can be unpredictable and that the cheerful facade people present on social media may mask deeper struggles. Conversely, seemingly kind words from toxic individuals may hide ulterior motives. Always look beyond the surface before drawing conclusions.

2. Cultivate Your Support System

In the 1990s, I worked as a reporter in San Francisco, where a friendly receptionist caught my attention. One day, I invited her to join some colleagues for lunch. She was a single mother facing financial difficulties, yet she had a strong family network supporting her. She eventually pursued her dream of studying journalism at night and secured a proofreading job at a local paper.

Ultimately, what remains vital in life are your family and a few close friends. Relationships formed in your youth may fade over time, but if you have even one friend who feels like family, cherish that bond. My own tribe consists of my husband and our young son, who provide me with purpose and resilience. Avoid investing energy into relationships that don’t bring you happiness; instead, focus on nurturing your own supportive community.

3. Sometimes You Get What You Need Instead of What You Want

The Rolling Stones captured a profound truth in their 1969 song: “You can’t always get what you want.” In the mid-90s, I faced significant challenges in securing a reporting job. Eventually, I received a call offering me a position as an obituary writer and proofreader—far from my dream job, but necessary for financial stability.

Initially, I found the role unfulfilling. However, a few months in, I was asked to step in for a sick reporter, which ultimately changed my career trajectory. That "dead-end" job was precisely what I needed to gain the experience required to advance. Sometimes, you must accept roles you don’t desire as they can shape your skills and character in unexpected ways.

4. Focus Breeds Growth

My father often said, “The difference between success and failure lies in diligence.” His perseverance lifted him from poverty in Nepal to attending an Ivy League school and becoming a civil engineer in Japan. His dedication allowed me to attend a prestigious international school in Tokyo, significantly influencing my future.

What you choose to focus on expands. For instance, a classmate of mine who passionately doodled intricate designs is now a successful graphic designer selling her creations online. Whatever your passion may be, pursue it wholeheartedly and reap the rewards of your efforts.

5. Embrace Boldness

At 16, I was unexpectedly cast as the lead in a school play. The following year, I faced an audition but panicked and fled upon seeing the competition. To this day, I regret not being brave enough to try. What’s the worst that could have happened? I might have forgotten my lines or stumbled. At least I would have taken a chance.

If you aspire to write, sing, or create, take that first step. The most courageous action is simply to begin.

6. Act Without Delay

My favorite actress, Christina Applegate, was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and now uses a cane. At just 51, she has stepped back from her acting career that began in childhood. When we are young, we often feel invincible, as if challenges are distant abstract concepts. However, life can be unpredictable and harsh.

It's essential to pursue your passions, travel, and establish financial security while you’re still young. Prioritizing health through good nutrition and exercise during your 20s can significantly impact your well-being later in life. Remember, life is inherently messy, but these six lessons can help you navigate it with greater ease.

Final Thoughts

These insights may spare you from experiencing unnecessary suffering as you journey through life. Embrace them and forge a more fulfilling path ahead.