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Flirtation Cards: The Victorian Era's Unique Dating Tool

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The Art of Flirtation in the Victorian Age

Long before the advent of smartphones and online dating, young men and women had their own creative ways to navigate romance. Known as flirtation cards—or sometimes referred to as invitation or escort cards—these cheeky tools allowed men to introduce themselves to women in a less formal manner.

The Rise of Flirtation Cards

Flirtation cards gained popularity during the Victorian period, a time when societal norms dictated that women could not venture out without a chaperone. Young men cleverly utilized these cards to subtly express their interest in women they found appealing.

These cards served as lighthearted introductions, devoid of serious intent. They were primarily a means to break the ice and initiate conversation, allowing young people to interact outside the rigid boundaries of their era’s social customs.

As Jessica Roy of The Cut aptly noted, "Imagine if you got your Tinder bio printed on business cards and then started giving them to random strangers."

What Exactly Were Flirtation Cards?

A humorous flirtation card from the Victorian era

Flirtation cards were amusingly designed printed cards that men would present to attractive women. Each card typically featured a light-hearted message paired with a simple illustration. The playful nature of these cards meant that recipients were not expected to take them too seriously.

Many of these cards included specific invitations to visit the lady’s home or to accompany her on her way. Some cards even featured the sender's name or a unique code for discreet communication in public settings. For instance, a card bearing the phrase "May I. C. U. Home?" could be easily slipped into a woman's hand, facilitating a meeting without the burden of formal introductions. This method also cleverly bypassed chaperones, as a man could discreetly hand over the card while the woman concealed it with her fan or glove.

Young people humorously initiating courtship with flirtation cards A flirtation card with a playful invitation to meet

Flirtation Cards and Rejection

While many flirtation cards featured light humor, some included options for rejection. For example, a card might read, "Can I have the pleasure of your company this evening?" with a note at the bottom stating, "If so, keep this card; if not, please return."

A Victorian card designed for repeated use

Interestingly, some women also commissioned their own flirtation cards to exchange with potential suitors, further blurring the lines of courtship.

The Decline of Flirtation Cards

Over time, flirtation cards fell out of favor as new and more effective methods emerged for navigating the strict dating conventions of the Victorian era. The need to discreetly pass cards diminished, as younger generations sought alternative ways to connect.

Despite the evolution of dating practices—especially with the rise of social media—flirtation cards remain a charming glimpse into the past. They reflect the lengths to which Victorians went to express their romantic interests and the creativity they employed in the pursuit of love.

References

  • When 'Flirtation Cards' Were All The Rage
  • On Victorian Cards for Secret Flirtations
  • 19th-Century Men Were Just As Bad at Flirting As Dudes Today
  • Instead of Cheesy Pickup Lines, 19th-Century Americans Gave Out Calling Cards
A collection of flirtation cards from the Victorian era

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