Chapter 1: The Great Australian Cancellation

Australia has seemingly been erased from existence. At least, that’s the impression I get from the headlines I’ve skimmed through.

Some skeptics have long doubted Australia’s very existence, and in light of recent events, they might just be onto something. I spent two years in Sydney, and now I’m left questioning if it was merely a figment of my imagination. The Opera House, with its quirky design, seems almost too absurd to have ever been real.

But what does this mean for our supposed friends down under, if they ever were real? It appears that the entire continent has been rendered non-existent. Imagine the millions of inhabitants, the kangaroos, the numbats, and even those elusive pademelons—all wiped out. Crocodile Dundee? Vanished. Vegemite? Gone. All 27 Hemsworth brothers? Disappeared. Rupert Murdoch? Also gone.

“Can Facebook really do that?” you might wonder. Absolutely. If Mark Zuckerberg decided he wanted me gone, the only question left would be which woodland creature he would choose to carry out the deed.

If you think there isn’t a covert army of tiny mammals with microchips waiting for a signal to spring into action, I can’t help you.

My girlfriend, who might still be living in Australia, is presumably handling the situation well. At least, I think so—I haven’t heard from her since the ban was announced. It’s entirely possible I fabricated her existence, and perhaps Zuckerberg was using her to target me with personalized ads all along.

I suspect Google has some involvement too. When I searched for “Australia,” it suggested, “Did you mean: to do that, because you shouldn't have done that?”

I attempted the search again, with this result:

I feel the walls closing in—there's clearly a target on my back. This situation transcends my personal issues. I didn’t complete a Journalism Diploma focused on newspaper reporting just to see my investigative prowess go to waste. Well, I did, but now I have a chance to utilize those skills—except for shorthand. That was a complete waste.

I refuse to back down until I unravel this mystery, even if it leads to my demise or a fate worse than death—being forced to use Bing instead.

25 million people are relying on me.

This baby kangaroo, specifically, is counting on me:

If I suddenly go silent, you'll know they've silenced me. Don’t let them brush Australia aside. I’m almost convinced it exists, and it deserves to keep on existing—probably.

G’day, mates.

Chapter 2: The Fallout of Censorship

In this video, we explore the implications of Facebook's ban on Australian news, revealing the tension between social media platforms and government regulations.

Here, we discuss how Australians are creatively overcoming the ban on media, showcasing resilience amidst censorship.