Empowering Women: How to Combat Negging and Toxicity
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Understanding Negging
To begin, let’s clarify what “negging” means. According to Wikipedia, it is described as:
"Negging refers to a form of emotional manipulation where an individual delivers a backhanded compliment or an insincere remark to undermine someone’s confidence, aiming to create a dependency on their approval. This term originated within pickup artist culture."
Urban Dictionary further elaborates:
"Negging involves low-level insults aimed at diminishing a woman’s self-esteem, making her more susceptible to advances. No honorable man would engage in such behavior. While some believe that 'bad boys' attract women, I can easily detect negging and dismiss such individuals immediately."
It’s crucial to highlight: "No honorable man would engage in such behavior." This tactic is a form of emotional manipulation.
I share this to raise awareness. Many may not be familiar with this phenomenon. If you identify as female, chances are you’ve encountered this at least once. If you didn’t know there was a term for it, now you do. I hope you’ve found ways to shield yourself from such encounters.
A Personal Experience
Let me recount a brief experience I had:
While at a club, a stranger attempted to neg and flirt with me on the dance floor, saying:
"You're lovely, but your friend dances better; however, your tattoos are cooler."
My response was simple:
"Thanks. It’s not a competition."
Then I walked away.
In my mind, I thought:
HOW DARE HE ASSUME I VALUE HIS OPINION ON MY DANCING?! BACK IN FIFTH GRADE, I CHOREOGRAPHED AN ENTIRE ROUTINE FOR MY DANCE GROUP. I DOUBT HE’S QUALIFIED TO JUDGE DANCE COMPETITIONS. WHAT A JOKE!
This makes me ponder: Why do some men believe women are in competition for male attention and validation?
I don’t require anyone’s validation. I know my worth. Comparison breeds jealousy and resentment—who needs that?
I envision a world where women can enjoy dancing—or any activity—safely and peacefully without harassment. That would be a step toward global harmony, along with the cessation of wars and the senseless killing of innocent beings. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
Strategies to Combat Negging
Here’s how I deal with men who engage in negging, and how YOU can too:
KNOW YOUR WORTH. HAVE SELF-RESPECT. WALK AWAY.
Sometimes stating that you’re married can help, as some men seem to show more respect when they perceive us as 'owned' by someone else.
If you identify as male or belong to any other gender and have male friends who engage in this behavior, please encourage them to do better.
If you’ve ever resorted to this tactic to attract attention, recognize that such manipulation will not fill any void within you. It may only work on those who are insecure, providing fleeting satisfaction. Have you taken the time for self-reflection? Have you thought about seeking therapy? Do you possess empathy?
For those who have faced this type of manipulation, remember that the negativity stems from the manipulator. You have the strength to assert yourself.
Amidst the illusions of this world, kindness, positivity, and love always prevail.
Love triumphs.
Always.
Unless you're playing tennis. Technically, the term "love" originates from the French word "l'œuf," which sounds quite similar to love.
Section 1.1: Combatting Negativity
To further explore how to shield yourself from negativity, watch this insightful video on the importance of maintaining positive relationships.
Section 1.2: Building Self-Worth
Learn how to build self-worth and avoid toxic individuals through this impactful video.